Initial summer thoughts

Overall, I'd like to lose around 9 pounds before the summer. I don't mean this as a quick fix, but lose it and not claim it back. It's just over 4kg. I have 9 weeks left of the '12 weeks to clean' experiment; so this equals about a pound or half a kilo a week.

To lose a pound, you need to burn off 3,500 calories, so 500 a day. This is a challenge for me, as I already eat fairly healthy, but I need to change something for this to be viable. So, I am going to make my portions smaller, and eat more often to boost my metabolism. I also want to up my exercise to 6 times a week; 3 sessions will be half an hour runs, 1 will be an hour's dancing, and I hope to do one exercise class and one workout video at home.

My problem areas are my stomach and my legs (and my double chin too, but I doubt this will change!) I'm aiming to do enough cardio to lose the excess fat, and then once I have done this, I can work on toning and gaining muscles, as there's no point in having muscles if they're covered in a layer of flab!

SW : 58.5
GW1: 58
GW2: 57.5
GW3: 57
GW4: 56.5
GW5: 56
GW6: 55.5
GW7: 55
GW8: 54.5

UGW: 51

Becoming pescevegan

So, it's controversial. It doesn't quite make sense. It cannot be explained.

What am I talking about? Become a pescevegan.

Now, I don't know if such a thing already exists, but I am trying out being a pescetarian vegan. I am already a pescetarian and have been for over 6 years now. Cutting a long story short, my mother said she would only support me if I still ate fish (protein blah blah blah) so I agreed. I don't get tempted by the thought of meat now, it is probably more of a habit now rather than a conscious decision every time I'm asked whether I'd 'just like to try some'.

After hearing statistics of how the dairy and meat industries mistreat animals, I was horrified; my natural yoghurt didn't taste the same, I didn't want red Leicester cheese on my jacket sweet potato. I was more horrified with how the animals were treated that were not killed directly for produce (e.g. male chicks). So, I'm going to try out being a vegan.

A couple of years ago, I started drinking soya milk. My mother bought some because apparently it's 'good for women'. I keenly transferred since I never really liked the taste of dairy milk. Since those days, I've tried out almond, hazlenut and only recently coconut milk, it simply depends on what's available in the supermarket. This isn't the hard bit, but I will need to choose dairy alternatives when I go to coffee shops, rather than the current skimmed milk option. Unfortunately, this is more expensive (in Caffe Nero it costs an extra 40p!), but recently I haven't really eaten/been out, so once in a while I'm sure I can splurge. After all, an extra 40p is worth not contributing to an industry which regularly exploits and harms innocent animals.

For me, the hardest will be eggs. Again, I didn't like the taste of eggs until the last couple of months, but recently I have been converted. This will be especially to avoid since my favourite weekend breakfast is 2-ingredient pancakes or an omelette and fruit. I suppose I will just have to settle for overnight oats or fruit by itself! Also, what about cakes?!? Cutting out eggs immediately cuts out any type of fluffy, light cake. Ah well, just think of the animals, just think of the animals.... (I try and tell myself)...

The problem I find with many dietary alternatives, whether they be vegetarian, gluten or dairy-free, is that they are not natural. Instead of such ingredients, added are chemicals, preservatives, colourants and the likes to make this food taste similar to the original product they are trying to mimic. As I'm trying to eat 'clean', this involves no processed foods, only things which have ingredients that you would use yourself, the names which one can actually pronounce. This will be hard, but this is only an experiment so I can only try for a while and see how it goes.

In conclusion, I'm not being overtly strict. If I slip up, no biggie. But when making my own food, I'm going to avoid using eggs, butter, dairy milk, cheese and yoghurt. I know a lot of people follow a 90% vegan rule, but I don't think I should set a specific percentile. The point is to be more conscious when making food choices, so I will try it out for a while and see how it goes.

Day 18 - fasting

Today I was fasting as it is Good Friday, which means that I am allowed one meal and two libations (snacks) only. I did the same about 7 weeks ago for Ash Wednesday, but I only had one libation as I felt ill and spent the evening sleeping, so I was not too worried about today.

I woke up late, 9.30, which I honestly hate doing as it sets me up for a bad day and I rarely get the things I need to done. I managed to busy myself for the morning, so did not have my first libation until 1 in the afternoon, and this was a fruit bowl consisting of a pear, some black grapes and some blueberries.

At about 3 I had lunch/dinner, which was a cod stew with tomatoes, lentils, garlic, Italian herbs and spinach. I really love this dish, it is so filling and full of good nutrients. For a side, I had four baby corns.

I then spent 5 hours cooking cakes - 8 lamb and rabbit shapes Madeira cakes. These were not for me, but for family and friends as Easter gifts. Although I have given up cakes and chocolate for lent, I thought I would make a little exception. I had the smallest offcut of cake, and drizzled a little melted white chocolate on top. How I wish I had not!! I felt so sick afterwards! I think this was because it was so sick and I had avoided such things for 7 weeks. Whatever it was, I am permenantly put off chocolate!

I hope by eating clean (and subsequently losing weight) that I will manage to lose some weight on my face. Whenever I look down, I feel my neck/chin and it is so comfortable. I doubt there are specific chin target exercises, so I just need to pray for the best!

Post-Easter lifestyle

After 6(ish) weeks of giving up chocolate, cake, sweets, crisps, biscuits and whipped cream for Lent, it is all over. I made it! Now I'm allowed to eat what I want, no restrictions. The thing is, I don't want to...

For some reason, I don't want to eat biscuits. I'm not tempted by the smell of chocolate. I don't feel the need to have whipped cream. I want to keep on with this lifestyle and carry on eating healthily and improving my diet and life over time. So, I thought I would devise a set of guidelines (note: not rules, I can be flexible) to stick to for the future. For now, I am going to call it my 12-week cleanse and see how I go.

• Finish the Couch to 5k running programme
• Workout everyday (if not running/dancing then do a 25 minute cardio workout)
• No chocolate (cocoa powder allowed)
• No crisps
• No sweets
• No fizzy drinks
• No alcohol
• No biscuits
• No non-clean cake
• No glutenous flour
• No potatoes
• No bread
• Avoid fruit after 2pm
• Cheat meal for carbs x1 a week (for special  occasions or if I'm going out/not at home)

So, hopefully I will manage to stick to this. Out of choice, I probably wouldn't choose any of these foods. What I do find hard is if I'm not at home or go out or someone else is cooking. I get quite conscious, but then I just let myself go and it spirals out of control. I'd really like to try for a couple of months to maintain my lifestyle not just when I cook for myself at home, but all the time. 

Day 17 - did someone say pizza?

Last night I had a bit of a binge; the day's food was fairly healthy, but I was rather hungry before dinner as I only had a salad and 4 prawns for lunch. Though, I'm pretty pleased I didn't really have anything too unhealthy in my house, so I had a nakd banana bread bar and Muller light Greek style lemon yogurt.

This morning, I was very naughty and broke one of my Lenten promises; yes, I weighed myself. I regret doing so,  but really wanted to know. I weigh 58.1kg, which is no progress at all really. The good news is, I did also measure myself and from the last time I did (God knows when) I have lost 0.75" off my waist, so all is not bad. I'm convincing myself it is just muscle mass which is causing the scales to remain stubborn!

After the day's measurements were taken, I went for a run : 5 min warm up walk, 10 min run, 3 min walk, 10 min run and 5 min walk. If I'm honest, the runs are hard for me. I always check the time left and it seems like an age to go; but afterwards, the satisfaction is fantastic. Being able to do something you never thought you would be able to do is a real surprise, I just hope I can use my willpower to carry on and complete the challenge!

I had the usual breakfast when for when I have a bit more time in the morning - 2 egg omelette + 2 fruits (today this was a kiwi and a pear). Egg keeps me full up for so long, I usually don't eat again until lunch!

I went shopping in the morning for about 4 hours (carrying all those heavy bags definitely counts as an extra cheeky workout!). Since I probably won't have time to go for a proper shop again until after my exams, I made sure to stock up. I went to a world food shop, a health shop (that is not Holland and Barrett) plus Poundland and Family Bargains. I discovered so many things that I doubted I would find locally, and some things at great prices (e.g. tahini and coconut oil which I found in my farm shop).

I bought some 1kg packs of cashews, Popping corn, dessicated coconut and also some almonds, rice cakes, dates, coconut milk, dried fruit, almond oil, coconut palm sugar, carob flavouring and the list goes on! As you can tell, I have a lot of baking planned for the next few months ;).

I also treated myself to my first ever 'gym kit'. Before, I was using some thick tracksuit bottoms and cotton t-shirts for running. Comfortable as they are, the weather is getting hotter and I really needed something cooler to run in. So, I have a pair of black running shorts and a neon orange cropped sports bra. I definitely think this will be a motivation to start running more! I'm a bit worried about showing my stomach, but I though that I could always wear vests on top, or alternatively this would be an initiative to run faster so people wouldn't see my fat rolls moving up and down!!

For lunch, I made a simple salad of lettuce, rocket, beetroot, yellow pepper, spring onion, cucumber and cherry tomatoes, and had this with half a peppered mackerel fillet for some protein. This was at about 3 o'clock, and now at 5.20 my stomach is starting to rumble. I am waiting for a doctor's appointment so don't have any food on me, but will have a snack when I get back rather than eating something after dinner like I did last night.

I did indeed have a snack, which was a strawberry crunch nakd bar; these are so tasty!! But they write all the ingredients include measurements, so I'm going to try and make them myself as a snack (as they are quite dear).

Then, I carried on with my cooking surge and made a cauliflower base pizza- a recipe I used from blogilates.com. It was so tasty- I think it might have even tasted better than normal pizza! My family enjoyed it too, which is always satisfying to hear as they are very sceptical about any recipe I mention that is 'clean'.

This pizza was so filling! I piled it high with green peppers, mushrooms, olives, red onion and sweetcorn, and a little red Leicester cheese. I didn't have anything else to eat that evening as my stomach was a good level of full after the pizza.

Day 15 - exhausted

I didnt go for a run this morning, but that didn't stop me having pancakes for breakfast! 2 bananas, 4 eggs and a little baking powder served two people, and then for topping I had a kiwi, some black grapes and agave syrup. I felt so full after this as I ate at about 11, so didnt have lunch/dinner until 4.30 pm.

For dinner, I made zoodles using my spirilazer, and for the first time made a creamy avocado sauce (usually I do tomato). For 4 people, I mixed 3 small avocados, handful of basil, 3 cloves of garlic and 2/3 tub of cottage cheese in a blender, then served with sweetcorn and halved cherry tomatoes. It was very delicious! I will definitely be trying the same some time soon!

I had 5 hours of dance classes between 5 and 10, which was so exhausting and tiring, but at the end I felt so good for getting through and not giving up! Exercise really does increase happiness. I had the equivalent on 2.5 litres of water during this time, but nothing to eat as I did not feel hungry in the slightest and also did not want to make myself feel I'll or have indigestion.

When I got home, I went straight to bed! I don't know yet if I will go for a run yet tomorrow morning (depends how I'm feeling) but I will definitely walk my dog at some point during the day and have a nutritious breakfast!

And now, time to sleep!

Day 14 - a little party never killed nobody

Yes it took me 20 minutes to get out the house, but at least I did it. Today's run was harder than usual, which I found surpring because of the 20 mins I ran non stop only 2 days ago. I guess it must be down to the amount of unhealthy food and dessert I had yesterday; so for next time, I should bear in mind that although I can have 'cheat meals', I should keep the portions small otherwise I do immediately see an effect on my overall health.

After a half hour dog walk, I made myself lunch. I really wanted to make some clean wraps which I've seen all over instagram, so I filled 3 rice wraps with thinly sliced raw carrot, red pepper, cucunber, lettuce and tofu. I has a side salad with this and it was so filling despite it was just vegetables!

I did get hungry at about 5.30, so I made some kale crisps. I had a quick dinner of last night's leftovers; I had to eat it in about 15 minutes, meaning I was rushing, which made me feel a bit uneasy. I just hate eating quickly, I honestly don't know how people do it!

Tonight I am going to a party. I'm not going to lie, I usually drink. A lot. I only started drinking alcohol properly a year and a half ago, but since then this habit has gradually got worse. Before, I used to be able to go out and not drink and still have a fantastic time. Then for some reason, I felt more confident with alcohol. Other people started to notice me a little more. I used to forget how unhappy I was during the day. But recently it has got too much, with me drinking between 12 and 20+ units in a single night, maybe once a week or once a fortnight, then not remembering what happened the next morning. This is the worst feeling, and got to the point where last week, I didn't even drink that much, but I had 100 pounds stolen, most things had fallen out my bag without me noticing, I was kicked out of a club, sick along the street and in a taxi, and I even passed out in the middle of a road.

The next day, I vowed to not drink until my birthday, which is about 3 months away. Not only is alcohol damaging in the long term, something which is so easy to forget when those effects are not so visible now, but it is also full of calories and sugar, in addition to putting yourself in danger.

So today will be the first party that I will try not to drink; less than a week ago I promised myself the same thing (twice) yet I still caved in. Today is going to be different. Tonight, I will plan in advance, taking with me some drinks (iced tea, flavoured water) so that I can resist temptation. I'm not saying that it will be easy, probably far from it. But I have the motivation now. I've been eating clean for almost two weeks now, and I exercise four times a week, so why ruin all this work and slow down the process by a couple of drinks that I won't remember in a few months time? I have 10 weeks to go until my birthday and 12 week clean eating goal; I can't stop now.